The First Year

Three free courses on the weeks after the wedding: the expectations you each brought, your first joint project and whose way is the right way to load a dishwasher.

• Happily Ever After, Starting MondayThe Monday after · Everything changes, or nothing does · Who wrote your script? · Saying the quiet part on purpose · Normal, as defined by this household
• The Thank-You Notes Are Still in the CarYour first project is also your template · If it lives in one head, it is not a list · Helping is not the same as doing · Someday is not a date · The last ten percent
• Your Way, My Way and the DishwasherEveryone grew up in a small country · A hill or a habit? · Not yours, not mine, but ours · Soup or silence? · Fix it while it is soft

House rules nobody wrote down, the opening negotiation on chores and how to be alone together in a small apartment.

• The House Rules Nobody Wrote DownTwo constitutions, one apartment · Irritation is a rule reporting for duty · A charter fits on one page · The difficult clauses · The first amendment
• Chores: The Opening NegotiationWhoever does it twice does it forever · The “I’ll just do it” trap · A job includes the thinking · Clean, according to whom? · The first rota, and the first rematch
• Alone Together in Six Hundred Square FeetLove is not a floor plan · The bathroom is a scheduled service · One desk, two jobs · Asking to be alone, without slamming a door · A corner of one’s own

Your first real fight, which marriage advice survives contact with real life, and a weekly check-in that heads off the next one.

• Your First Real Fight (Congratulations)Congratulations, it’s a fight · It was never about the lamb · Rules of engagement, drafted in peacetime · Start where it hurts, not where it shows · The rematch
• Going to Bed Angry Is AllowedThe cross-stitch is wrong · Other advice from the gift table · How to leave the room properly · Hungry, tired and right about everything · The breakfast clause
• The Weekly Check-InA small standing appointment · Thank you goes first · The week ahead, briskly · One small issue, one thing to look forward to · A ritual, not a review

In-laws in their new role, the first holiday season as a couple and keeping your friends on both sides of the wedding.

• Meet the In-Laws, AgainSame people, new job titles · Your family, your phone call · The word is “we” · Keys, drop-ins and advice · You are somebody’s in-law too
• The Holiday Custody AgreementEvery first is a precedent · Alternate, split or host · Decide in September · Tell them together, and early · A holiday with your names on it
• Friends, Before and AfterThe friends who knew you before · The friend who isn’t sure yet · Gerald, and the court of public opinion · Dating, but for couples · One life, several tables

Joint, separate or both, a monthly money date and the unpaid department that remembers everyone’s birthday.

• Joint, Separate or Yours-Mine-OursNobody decided this · Three systems, none of them wrong · Separate is not secret · Fair is not the same as equal · Choosing on purpose
• The Money DateEverybody has a money childhood · A meeting with snacks · The kayak clause · What was in the shoebox · One goal and some money nobody asks about
• Who Remembers the Birthdays?The Department of Remembering · Your family, your dates · If it isn’t in the calendar, it isn’t happening · Things that expire · Remembering each other

Romance after the registry, intimacy discussed calmly in daylight and the big questions you thought were settled.

• Romance After the RegistryThe vows are not on autopay · Hello and goodbye are not admin · The heron is not about the heron · Date night without the minutes · Surprise is the garnish
• Expectations in the Bedroom, Calmly DiscussedThe brochure and the apartment · Not under the covers · Mismatched is not broken · Forty minutes and a recycling bin · Yes, no and not tonight
• The Big Questions You Thought Were SettledAgreed in principle · Reopening the file without a trial · Unfolding the napkin · When it might be a deal-breaker · Decisions with a date on them

Staying on the same side when year one is hard, a first-anniversary review and the habits you take into year two.

• When Year One Is HardNobody ordered this · Advice, arms or errands · The problem sits across the table · Protect the pancakes · Calling in reinforcements
• The First-Anniversary ReviewWhy review a year that went fine · What surprised us, what we’re proud of · Keep, stop, start · This is not a tribunal · One change, then cake
• The Second Year Starts TomorrowEleven pieces of paper · Rituals that survive February · The person you married is a draft · The olive problem · Commencement