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DATING · EVERYDAY COMMUNICATION

Texting between dates is not a chess tournament.

A clear message can do more useful work than three days of calculated silence.

Dating College Editorial Desk · 1 min read

Say what you mean

If you enjoyed the date, you can say, “I had a lovely time yesterday. Would you like to meet again next week?” It communicates interest and gives the other person a real question to answer. You do not need to conceal enthusiasm behind a message so vague that it requires a translation department.

Leave room for different routines

People work, rest and put their phones away. Before deciding what a delayed reply means, allow for the possibility of an ordinary day. If you keep seeing each other, talk about what communication feels comfortable. Your preferred texting rhythm is a preference to discuss, rather than a rule the other person was secretly expected to know.

Make plans easy to answer

Suggest a day and a simple activity, then leave room for another option. “Would Thursday evening work for coffee?” is easier to respond to than several rounds of “We should do something sometime.” Once a plan is agreed, confirm any practical details without sending a running commentary on every preparation.

Do not turn uncertainty into pressure

One unanswered message does not call for a series of escalating follow-ups. If someone declines, accept the answer kindly. If communication repeatedly leaves you uncertain, you can decide that the arrangement does not work for you. Interest should leave space for both people to choose freely.

Put the phone down after sending

Send the message you actually mean, then return to your day. Refreshing the conversation does not make the reply arrive sooner. Dating can include anticipation without appointing your notification screen as the chair of the relationship committee.

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