Begin with something you can both answer
You do not need an extraordinary opening question. Ask about something they mentioned, what they have enjoyed lately, or the place you have chosen to meet. An ordinary question with real attention is a useful beginning. Nobody needs to defend their five-year strategic plan before the coffee arrives.
Follow the answer, not your list
If they mention learning to cook, ask what they like making. If they tell you about a trip, ask which part they would do again. Let their answer shape the next question. A conversation feels different when someone is interested in what you said, rather than simply waiting to unveil question seven.
Offer your own small stories
Curiosity should leave room for both people. Share a related experience without turning every topic into your autobiography. You can say, “I tried that too, with mixed results,” and then pass the conversation back. Neither person should have to carry the whole evening or sit through a solo presentation.
Respect a change of subject
Some subjects may feel private on a first meeting. If someone gives a brief answer or says they would rather discuss something else, accept it. You can be interested without asking for access to their entire personal history. A comfortable pause also does not require an emergency intervention.
A useful measure of the evening
Afterwards, ask yourself whether you felt able to speak, listen and be yourself. You do not need to assign a score or predict a future together. If you would like another date, a clear invitation is more useful than a detailed analysis of whether their choice of dessert was a signal.