Engaged, and Suddenly Everyone Has Questions
You said yes on Saturday. By Sunday lunch, thirty-one people wanted to know the date, and an aunt had found a barn.
Explore this module →The Marriage College · COURSE
Before the Vows
Everyone wants to know the date. Almost nobody asks what happens on the Tuesday after it.
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A starting point that fits you. Practical lessons. Room for your own notes.
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Use your goals to shape the practice prompts. Try the activities and choose one small step for real life.
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A syllabus for real life.
Engaged couples of any genders, couples planning a wedding or civil ceremony, and couples who are seriously talking about engagement. Lessons address the student as “you” and the other person as “your partner”. Useful to one partner alone; designed for both.
The entire Newbie level is free: three modules, fifteen lessons and your first diploma. Sign in and confirm you are 18 or older to begin. Pass all three modules in each level before progressing.
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LEVEL 1 · FREE
Newbie
Three free modules for the weeks after the proposal: everyone’s questions, keeping the marriage in view while the wedding takes over, and an honest check that you are ready, not just excited.
The Wedding Is One Day. The Marriage Is the Rest.
Forty-six tabs, eleven shades of green and not one conversation in three weeks that didn’t mention centerpieces.
Explore this module →Ready, or Just Excited?
Three years, one cat, a ring in a sock drawer and a steady supply of other people’s proposals.
Explore this module →LEVEL 2
Apprentice
The budget before the venue, the guest list peace talks and dividing the planning so it rehearses the marriage instead of straining it.
The Budget Comes Before the Venue
You went to the venue “just to look.” The venue, it turns out, was also looking.
Explore this module →The Guest List Peace Talks
Your family fits in a minivan. Theirs fills a notebook. The venue holds 120.
Explore this module →Two Planners, One Wedding
One of you has a binder with its own tote bag. The other has thoughts about the font, at 11 p.m.
Explore this module →LEVEL 3
Practitioner
Listening well enough to pass a test, meeting each other’s fighting styles and drafting who does what before habits decide it for you.
Listening Like There Will Be a Test
One of you is telling a story. The other is already halfway through a solution, a timeline and a list of people to email.
Explore this module →Your Fighting Styles, Introduced
One of you wants to settle it now, at volume. The other would like to settle it next Thursday, ideally in writing.
Explore this module →Who Does What, Before It’s a Habit
Nobody decides that one of you will always buy the toilet paper. It just happens on a Tuesday and lasts twenty years.
Explore this module →LEVEL 4
Specialist
The families you grew up in, boundaries with your future in-laws, and friends, exes and everyone else.
The Family You Grew Up In
Her family celebrates with thirty people and a karaoke machine. His celebrates with a card and a firm handshake. Both families think they are saying the same thing.
Explore this module →Future In-Laws, Present Boundaries
His mother has opinions on the wedding, the honeymoon and your future home, which she has kindly found for you, three streets from hers.
Explore this module →Friends, Exes and Everyone Else
Her ex co-runs her book club, his game night has met every Tuesday since high school, and someone keeps calling at midnight about a fish.
Explore this module →LEVEL 5
Expert
Full financial disclosure, money personalities and a first-draft money system, and the unromantic paperwork that protects you both.
Full Financial Disclosure (Bring Snacks)
One of you has savings. One of you has “the situation.” Tonight, everyone has pretzels.
Explore this module →Spender, Saver, Spreadsheet
One of you sees a sale. The other sees a line item. Both of you are about to share a bank account.
Explore this module →Prenups, Paperwork and Other Romantic Gestures
Nothing says “I love you” like knowing where the other person’s will is kept.
Explore this module →LEVEL 6
Distinguished Fellow
Children, intimacy and the values, faith, careers and places that shape the next ten years.
Children: Yes, No, How Many, When
You both said “yes, someday” on the third date. It turns out someday came in two different calendars.
Explore this module →Intimacy, Expectations and the Talk Before the Honeymoon
You can discuss hummus for forty minutes. This module is about the other conversation.
Explore this module →Faith, Values and the Ten-Year Sketch
You agree on almost everything except God, work and which city. Time to get out a pencil.
Explore this module →LEVEL 7
Master
Planning for life off-script, writing vows you can keep and a flight plan for the morning after the wedding.
When Life Goes Off-Script
You planned the seating chart down to the last cousin. Life did not look at the seating chart.
Explore this module →Vows You Can Actually Keep
Somewhere between four pages about the moon and “mostly” lies a vow you can actually keep.
Explore this module →The Morning After the Wedding
The wedding ended at 1 a.m. The marriage started at 9, with a dozen tote bags and one shoe.
Explore this module →Your next chapter starts here.
Your next useful conversation can start here. Learn at your own pace, practice privately, and come back whenever real life assigns extra homework.
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