The Family College · THE LEARNING PATH
Family Life, with Honors.
All 21 courses, with seven levels, exams and retakes. Start with the free Newbie level.
21 modules · One payment. No subscription.
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21 modules
LEVEL 01 / The Family College
Newbie
Whether the baby arrives by birth, adoption or a very organized spreadsheet of paperwork, 'we're expecting' means both of you. The baby needs about twelve things. The internet will sell you three hundred. A wipe warmer is not a parenting strategy. It takes a village. Specifically, a village that brings food, holds the baby for twenty minutes and leaves when asked.
Start here · all three modules free · 3 modulesExpecting, Together
Whether the baby arrives by birth, adoption or a very organized spreadsheet of paperwork, 'we're expecting' means both of you.
Start learning at the college ↗The Nursery Is Not the Point
The baby needs about twelve things. The internet will sell you three hundred. A wipe warmer is not a parenting strategy.
Start learning at the college ↗The Village, Assembled
It takes a village. Specifically, a village that brings food, holds the baby for twenty minutes and leaves when asked.
Start learning at the college ↗LEVEL 02 / The Family College
Apprentice
A crash course in a job with no training, no breaks and a boss who communicates exclusively by screaming. You'll love them anyway. Welcome to the Tired Olympics, where both of you are going for gold and nobody wins. Let's try a rota instead. The baby has a whole team monitoring its every burp. This course is about the two exhausted people holding it.
Unlock after completing Newbie · 3 modulesThe First Six Weeks
A crash course in a job with no training, no breaks and a boss who communicates exclusively by screaming. You'll love them anyway.
Explore this module at the college ↗Night Shifts, Fairly Divided
Welcome to the Tired Olympics, where both of you are going for gold and nobody wins. Let's try a rota instead.
Explore this module at the college ↗Looking After the Grown-Ups
The baby has a whole team monitoring its every burp. This course is about the two exhausted people holding it.
Explore this module at the college ↗LEVEL 03 / The Family College
Practitioner
You used to have long dinners. Now you communicate in grunts and diaper counts. Let's get back a little of the romance. Someone in your house knows when the vaccines are due, what size shoes fit and that you're out of wipes. This course is about sharing that person's brain. Grandma says a hat. Your mother-in-law says no hat. The pediatrician says follow the guidance. The baby says nothing, and is right.
Unlock after completing Apprentice · 3 modulesStill a Couple, Technically
You used to have long dinners. Now you communicate in grunts and diaper counts. Let's get back a little of the romance.
Explore this module at the college ↗The Mental Load, Itemized
Someone in your house knows when the vaccines are due, what size shoes fit and that you're out of wipes. This course is about sharing that person's brain.
Explore this module at the college ↗Grandparents, Advice and Other Weather Systems
Grandma says a hat. Your mother-in-law says no hat. The pediatrician says follow the guidance. The baby says nothing, and is right.
Explore this module at the college ↗LEVEL 04 / The Family College
Specialist
You wanted the blue cup. Then the red cup. Then no cup, and now the day is ruined. Welcome to diplomacy with a very short delegate. Children spot a disagreement between parents faster than a dog spots a dropped sandwich. Get on the same page before the tiny lawyer does. Every parent has negotiated with a three-year-old over a cracker. Here's how to lose fewer of those negotiations and feel less guilty about the ones you lose.
Unlock after completing Practitioner · 3 modulesToddlers: Small, Loud, Negotiating
You wanted the blue cup. Then the red cup. Then no cup, and now the day is ruined. Welcome to diplomacy with a very short delegate.
Explore this module at the college ↗Same Page Parenting
Children spot a disagreement between parents faster than a dog spots a dropped sandwich. Get on the same page before the tiny lawyer does.
Explore this module at the college ↗Screens, Snacks and Other Bargains
Every parent has negotiated with a three-year-old over a cracker. Here's how to lose fewer of those negotiations and feel less guilty about the ones you lose.
Explore this module at the college ↗LEVEL 05 / The Family College
Expert
Permission slips, spelling tests, a costume needed tomorrow and a class group chat with 94 unread messages. You've got this. Probably. You've asked eleven times to put the shoes on. Try asking once, better. We can't promise miracles, but we can promise fewer repeats. Discipline means teaching, not punishing. Also, it means following through, which is the hard part, especially when you've threatened to cancel Christmas.
Unlock after completing Specialist · 3 modulesThe School Years, Survived
Permission slips, spelling tests, a costume needed tomorrow and a class group chat with 94 unread messages. You've got this. Probably.
Explore this module at the college ↗Talking So Kids Listen (Sometimes)
You've asked eleven times to put the shoes on. Try asking once, better. We can't promise miracles, but we can promise fewer repeats.
Explore this module at the college ↗Discipline Without Drama
Discipline means teaching, not punishing. Also, it means following through, which is the hard part, especially when you've threatened to cancel Christmas.
Explore this module at the college ↗LEVEL 06 / The Family College
Distinguished Fellow
They used to hold your hand. Now they'd rather walk three meters behind you. Don't worry: they still need you, they're just being very cool about it. Your household is a small economy with one central bank and several very persuasive lobbyists. Let's teach them how it works. Step-parents, co-parents, single parents, adoptive parents, two moms, two dads, grandparents in charge. Families come in more shapes than Tupperware lids, and they all find a way to fit.
Unlock after completing Expert · 3 modulesTeenagers: A Field Study
They used to hold your hand. Now they'd rather walk three meters behind you. Don't worry: they still need you, they're just being very cool about it.
Explore this module at the college ↗Money, Chores and the Family Economy
Your household is a small economy with one central bank and several very persuasive lobbyists. Let's teach them how it works.
Explore this module at the college ↗Every Kind of Family
Step-parents, co-parents, single parents, adoptive parents, two moms, two dads, grandparents in charge. Families come in more shapes than Tupperware lids, and they all find a way to fit.
Explore this module at the college ↗LEVEL 07 / The Family College
Master
Every family has a weird tradition. Ours might be pancakes on Tuesdays and a dance party when the dishwasher is emptied. Yours can be weirder. Moves, job losses, illness and grief happen to every family eventually. This course is about carrying them together. One day you'll have a quiet house and a bathroom to yourself. Some days you'll miss the chaos. This is the final practicum.
Unlock after completing Distinguished Fellow · 3 modulesFamily Traditions, Invented Here
Every family has a weird tradition. Ours might be pancakes on Tuesdays and a dance party when the dishwasher is emptied. Yours can be weirder.
Explore this module at the college ↗When Life Gets Heavy, as a Family
Moves, job losses, illness and grief happen to every family eventually. This course is about carrying them together.
Explore this module at the college ↗Master of Family Life
One day you'll have a quiet house and a bathroom to yourself. Some days you'll miss the chaos. This is the final practicum.
Explore this module at the college ↗Ready for the full curriculum?
All 21 modules: US$5.99. One payment, no subscription. Exams, retakes and novelty awards are included. Levels unlock through exam passes.
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For adults 18+. Education and entertainment, not therapy. Awards are novelty distinctions, not accredited qualifications.